If you’ve every worked out in a health club, you’ve most certainly encountered the locker room. The locker room is a fabulous place to change your clothes, take a shower and most importantly, observe behavior that leaves you asking but one question…”Really?”

My husband and I had a year-in-review conversation the other day, and peculiar locker room behavior was one of the things that came up. In the last year, I’ve been in at least a dozen different locker rooms of health clubs I’ve visited. Whether it’s the she she locker room of a swanky hotels, or the mom-and-pop health club locker room, one thing is for sure…people don’t change.

Mystery Shower Girl
One of the reasons this topic even came up is this…a couple weeks ago I was visiting a friend in another city. After a workout in a nearby health club, I went to the locker room to take a quick shower. As I stepped into my shower stall, I noticed another woman was in the stall next to mine. Almost immediately I heard her saying something completely inaudible. She continued to talk to herself in a very low voice for a good ten minutes. Maybe she just had a lot on her mind. Who am I to judge? It was then that she decided to thoroughly clear out one nostril (think fog horn), quickly followed by the other nostril. At that moment, I opened the door of my shower stall to another woman who was walking by glaring at ME. All the while, mystery girl is still enjoying her nice long shower. All I could do was put my head down, exit the shower area and take a guess as to which of the dozen women in the locker room area wondered if the nasal symphony they just heard was my work! Mystery girl eventually came out of the shower area. I assume her nose thing in the shower was an eco-conscious effort as she never so much as reached for a tissue afterward. The conversation she had? I’m still hung up on that one.

Thorough Use of a Hairdryer
As a woman, I can say with a good degree of confidence that hairdryers are probably the most valuable tool in the locker room. Some women take two minutes to dry their hair, and some take 20. And then there are those who go that extra step and use that hairdryer proudly in places I’ve always assumed went in the “Dry with Towel” category. The choice to blow dry your privates is entirely up to you and not necessarily inappropriate. That said, in a place where people are bound tightly in towels until they make a quick exchange with their clothes, the confidence it must take to just stand their – in front of a mirror and a handful of strangers – is impressive, to say the least.

The Curse of the Locker Room
Picture this: you’re in a locker room. It’s empty – just you. You put your things in your locker, leave to workout and come back an hour later. The locker room is still empty. You start getting ready for a shower. You pull all your clothes out and start getting organized. It’s not busy, so you’re kind of a space hog with stuff everywhere. Just then, someone walks in to the locker room. You see her walking toward you and think, “No way…not again.” She keeps getting closer, then you hear, “Excuse me, I’m right next to you.” Of all the lockers in the locker room, the only other person has her things in the locker immediately next to you. No doubt, she’s also thinking, “No way…not again.” This is what I call The Curse of the Locker Room…and it happens to us all – at least once. If it hasn’t happened to you yet, it will. Again and again. Just wait.

That’s What Towels Are For
Locker rooms are usually equipped with chairs or benches for sitting. For whatever reason, the furniture in a locker room generally takes on more abuse than the furniture we have in our own homes. Heaps of sweaty clothes, dirty shoes, spilled drinks and oozing styling products are a few things that get tossed on these of rough-and-tumble goods. Regardless of what city I’m in or how nice of a place the facility is, I always see at least one person who, usually after a shower, plops down – in the buff – on a chair or bench. Now, I believe whole-heartedly that their tush is clean and dandy, but the bench…hmmmmm, not so much. Friends, that’s what towels are for.

In no way is this an exhaustive list of anecdotes. I completely left out “The Madonna Story,” “The Talker,” and “I’m Just Entitled.” That will come later. I’d love to hear your stories, though!

Hopefully this kicks your Monday off with a little bit of food for thought that isn’t as serious as the usual business. More of the norm to come on Wednesday and Friday. Have a great week!

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